Seto's Birthday Wish
by CaptainInuyasha777
Summary: Originally intended as a birthday oneshot, now it's late and will be longer. It's Seto's birthday, Jou made pancakes, but he has a secret wish he wants Jou to help him out with... I had too much fun with this one. Beware the cameos. Yaoi, SxJ
1. Chapter One

Today is Seto's birthday! October 25th, folks, Seto Kaiba's birthday!!!

So, I have decided to write him a special birthday one-shot!

...if I can find a plot...

Hmm... I could just randomly write and see what I get.

That'll do.

...I wrote that all two days ago. Maybe I can actually get the story done this time?

* * *

**Seto's Birthday Wish**

The moment his silver alarm clock belted out the tune of "Happy Birthday" at 4 AM, Seto Kaiba knew – Mokuba had been messing with the settings of his alarm clock, first of all. He mumbled to himself as he crawled to the edge of his big bed and slipped onto the floor on his stomach – his favorite way to get out of bed. A groaning came from behind him and he realized he had forgotten his blonde mutt.

"Setooooo?" aforementioned blonde puppy called groggily. "It's too earrrrly..."

Seto got up and smiled at the boy curled up in the burgundy sheets. The mop of blonde hair was even messier than usual due to his constant moving when he slept, and his eyes were trying to pry themselves open, snapping shut each time.

Jou finally managed to keep his eyes open and he looked up at Seto.

"What's wrong?"

Seto frowned.

"Nothing is wrong, puppy, what makes you think that?" he asked.

"...yer smilin'," Jou responded, grinning.

The CEO grabbed a pillow and threw it at Jou, hitting him dead in the face.

"Don't tell anyone I did that. Our secret, okay?"

Jou nodded as he slipped out of the bed and put on his green bathrobe.

"You want the shower first today, Seto?" he asked sweetly.

"Yes, of course. Don't I always get it first?" the CEO teased.

Jou grinned and walked out to start making breakfast. Seto did not follow, instead decided to take his shower now... and purposely use all the hot water for Jou...and the Roman people.

* * *

"And the Roman people" was an extra created when I was sending bits of the story to my friend Arthur. He was talking about Rome and I sent the little paragraph just before he said "...and the Roman people..." so I thought I'd include his happy little contribution!

* * *

Jou set about making the fun-ness of pancakes! He grabbed a turkey baster and made the shape of a Blue-Eyes White Dragon with the batter. Then he filled it in carefully and waited for Seto to finish his shower...

---Meanwhile---

"YOWCH!" Seto yelped as he turned the water on too hot.

---Later...---

"AAAAAGH!" Seto shouted again, this time too cold.

---Later...---

Seto trudged to the kitchen with one scalded foot and the other slightly numb. He had tried to use all the hot water but he doubted he actually had... Mokuba could do the honors if he managed to shower before Jou.

Jou flopped the Blue-Eyes pancake onto Seto's plate, grinning from ear to ear as the brunet raised a sharp eyebrow at it.

* * *

Yes, I said "brunet" because "brunette" isn't right, I looked it up and the definition is "A girl or woman with dark brown hair!" "Brunet" is "A person with dark brown hair."

* * *

"Happy birt'day, sweetheaht," Jou said, pushing Seto into a comfy chair at the table.

Jou made more pancakes in varying Duel Monsters forms. He giggled insanely when Seto began _stabbing_ the Kuriboh pancake with his knife. Mokuba laughed when Jou **attempted** to convince Seto to eat a very nicely made Exodia pancake, too...

Throughout breakfast, Mokuba suggested several times that Seto and Jou duel with the pancakes, but Seto simply twitched an eyebrow and Jou shrugged.

When they had all finished, Jou cleaned up and ran to the shower before Mokuba could. Seto checked the time – 5:30 AM. They had two and a half more hours before school began... he'd have to ask Jou about his birthday wish soon.

* * *

OK, I lied. Not a oneshot. Sucks, ne? I'll get the next chapter up soon. I have the plot ready. You'll all like it... it involves Jou being a bit.. EVIL! 

Okies, reviews make me wanna update sooner, really! Review!!!


	2. Chapter Two

Hahaha, for those of you who reviewed, thank you! I really appreciate it.

I love this story a whole bunch and, since you are all lucky people, I'll update the day after I published! (gasps from readers)

Hehehe, just to let you all know, I give credit for Seto's wish to Arthur, a great guy to talk to after 9 PM.

Disclaimer: I forgot it last chapter, this one goes for the whole story (if it doesn't end here): All I own is a couple Shonen Jump issues I'll have to return to that kid I stole them from, a DVD of five episodes, several tapes of episodes, at least 150 cards, and I'm borrowing the first manga from PatrioticPuppy (who's probably mad at me right now). I don't own the show, or any copyrighted junk.

On to the chapter!

* * *

Chapter Two

After Jou had his shower, Seto picked out some clothes for him (cute!) and they ran around the house trying to gather school stuff. Jou's books (he can read?) were scattered messily around the mansion, partially from throwing them and partially from liking to move around a lot. Seto's books were in neat piles on various desks somewhere near Jou's books, usually. He just followed Jounouchi and did his work rather than throw it.

The minutes dragged on as they sat looking over their homework and making changes. After a while, Seto grabbed Jou's homework and looked over it for him.

"Jou... you flipped the x and y again on your slope formula! Do we have to sing the song again?"

Jou blinked stupidly at the offending homework as it was shoved back into his hands by a frustrated birthday boy. He raised an eyebrow at Seto.

"What is it, mutt?" Seto returned to the rough form of the affectionate nickname.

"I love it when you yell at me," Jou said, pointing to the incorrect answer. "I swear I did it on purpose."

"Uh-huh, sure."

"No, really!" Jou flipped into sad-puppy-lost-in-the-rain mode.

Seto's face remained impassive, save for a twinkle in his eye that told Jou he was amused.

When the couple arrived at school, the immediate response was a tri-colored blur running at Jou and beginning a large tickle fight that suddenly included a brunette, a pencil-headed guy, and a sexually ambiguous silver-haired teen. When they all stood up again and brushed dirt off their monotonous uniforms, most turned to Seto and gave him polite nods of acknowledgement (God knows what would happen if they ignored his presence) before trudging off to their first classes. Only the silver-haired one stayed with Seto and Jou, as they all had their first class together. Jou looked at Seto, who was deep in thought.

"Somet'in' wrong, hon?" he inquired, concerned for his boyfriend.

The silver-haired person looked nervously between the boys and stepped up ahead to give them a bit of privacy.

Seto looked Jou straight in the eyes as began...

"Jou. I have a birthday wish, and I want you to help me be sure it comes true."

* * *

Oooh, cliffie, and teh chapter was short. But next chapter we get to find out his wish and see if Jou is willing to be... eviiiiil... to get it to come true!

Hehehe, this may wind up being five chapters, but I'm not certain. That'll be my limit, I hope.

Anyways, reviews make me wanna write faster!

See you later, readers!


	3. Chapter Three

I'd like to thank my one reviewer. Yeah. One. It's sad!

For those of you who were unable to see chapter two because ff net made it weird, just change the '1' at the end of the URL to '2' or whatever chapter you're searching for and you should arrive there, if it exists.

So, onward we go!

* * *

Chapter Three

Jou blinked at Seto cutely. "What is it you need?"

Seto smirked his trademark evil smirk and whispered his plan in Jou's ear.

The blonde's bronze eyes widened.

Seto's smirk stayed, firmly glued in place by the imaginary guts that were being sprayed across his internal face as he thought about the many ways to kill a pup if he didn't agree.

"Seto..." Jou began nervously.

"Pup, you're either in or you're out. Will you help me?"

"But, Seto... then it won't be fair!"

"I don't care. I want my plan carried out. Will you do it?"

Silence filled the air between them.

The mutt gave in, sighing heavily.

"I'll do it."

---------------------

The couple entered their first class, Science, just before the bell rang. They picked their usual seats at the opposite ends of the room (the teachers all thought they still hated each other) and sat ready for the next intensely boring assignment.

Seto folded a small slip of paper skillfully into a football. He glanced at Jou, who winked. He reached back as if to pick up something and flicked the ball to Jou, who caught it easily and unfolded its crisp edges.

As usual, the note was in 1337. Jou read it with ease, a feat the few teachers that caught their passes were never able to accomplish.

"_Puppy,_" the note began.

"_When is your nearest class with Yugi? I want my plan executed soon!_

_With love,_

_The birthday boy_"

* * *

I am not actually writing the 1337 because 1) FF net will surely delete the story, and 2) FF net doesn't support most of the characters needed for it.

* * *

Jou scrawled a response, also in 1337, and flicked it back over to Seto, who caught it with his pencil, impaling it.

"_Iceman,_

_I have math with Yug. That's next._

_Luv ya!_

_The puppy_"

So their paper passing continued, without a need for posting, until Mr. Hrushka (their teacher) caught them and nearly blinded himself trying to read the tiny characters of 1337 on Seto's side and the roughly scrawled symbols on Jou's side.

Jou and Seto escaped detention when Hrushka gave up and decided it must be some sort of tips for an advanced math class.

Jou proceeded to his own Math class, muttering a few insults at Seto to keep up their façade of hatred.

-----------

Mrs. Personius, one of the best teachers in the school, gave the students in Math a well-deserved break time. Jou immediately turned to Yugi and asked to see his deck.

* * *

I have decided to stop there.

Also, the teachers' names are going to be real ones from my school, but I don't have all of them and I might change what subject they teach. Other than that, they're the same.

Review!


	4. Chapter Four

Haha, quick update again! I like how this is going. Don't blame me.

Review Responses:

**Mokuiba**: Glad you like it! His wish should be revealed in this chapter.

**Game and Watch Forever**: Close.... Well, dead on, yeah. Deck full of Kuriboh? (scribbles it into idea book) Thanks, dude! And as I told you, my notebook was stolen, so Maria has been put on hold.

**Kumori Sakusha formerly Saelbu**: Thanks! And I naturally have quick updates now, since I sneak downstairs and write... right now it's about 10:45 PM, and I'll probably wind up posting around midnight.

**SonnyGoten**: Thank you! I love reviewers! (hugs)

**i-love-bakura1489**: Hmm? I knew you'd review. You're very nice that way! And I feed off cliffies. They keep my readers reading!

I think this story is doing better than any other I've written! Thank you, all my wonderful readers! You're the best! (gives everyone Blue-Eyes pancakes)

Note: Yami's thought-speak is in bold since ff net won't let me do two slashes in a row.

Onward we go!

* * *

Chapter Four 

Yugi smiled happily at his blonde friend and retrieved his deck from the depths of his pockets O' DOOM!

Jou leaned back in his chair and flipped through the deck as Yugi ran off to talk to other people. He has a life other than Jou (contrary to popular belief, but true!)!

------

Seto fidgeted nervously in his seat. He knew his puppy would fulfill the task. When had he ever dared break a promise?

"...Mr. Kaiba, are you listening?"

Uh-oh. Caught daydreaming by the scariest math teacher ever known to walk the earth, Mrs. Engel. This does not bode well.

------

Jou finished switching out various cards in Yugi's deck and placed it on the desk. He opened his notebook and started doodling, when suddenly a shout came from seemingly nearby...

------

"MR. KAIBA, YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW TO PAY ATTENTION! **_SIX_** WEEKS OF DETENTION FOR YOU, YOUNG MAN!" Mrs. Engel shouted, voice echoing through the halls and reaching Jou at the opposite end of the school.

"Debbie," Seto began, using her first name, as he tended to do when trying to get out of the rare detentions he received. "Today has been miserable for me, particularly because no one seems to acknowledge that it is my birthday," –he internally scolded himself for trying to use it to his advantage- "and I have had trouble focusing. Please forgive me, just this once."

Mrs. Engel sighed and waved her hands slightly in response. Seto quirked an eyebrow.

"Fine, no detentions," Engel muttered, walking back to the front of the class to continue the lesson.

--------

Jou blinked in disbelief (having only heard the shouting). _His_ Seto, getting _detentions?_ He grabbed Yugi's deck again and replaced his Kuriboh with Bob the Wonder Cow (who I actually don't own).

-------

The rest of the class with Engel flowed smoothly. Seto answered questions here and there and corrected Engel when she did a problem wrong.

When the class was over, Seto walked calmly to the doom that was... Physical Education!

He walked commandingly through the locker room and into his own private changing room (he paid the school twice the building price so they'd let it be his only) and slipped into his gym uniform, a boring grey shirt and navy blue shorts.

Seto walked out to the gym and sat in his assigned spot, awaiting the energetic puppy who had broken the school record for fastest mile run three times – he beat himself a lot.

Jou exited the locker room and sat in his spot, next to Seto's (again, the teacher thought they hated each other, and this one happened to think fighting was healthy for boys their age). Seto had written a message in 1337 on his hand-

"_I escaped those detentions with Engel._"

Jou's jaw dropped. He mouthed the words "How easy?"

Seto simply smirked. Then he pulled a pen from nowhere (plot device, Mr. Frodo, plot device) and wrote a second message-

"_It helps being a diplomat._"

Jou raised an eyebrow in a Seto-like way.

Another message-

"_Did you sabotage the midget's deck like I asked?_"

Jou nodded.

"Good boy," Seto said as their PE teacher, Mrs. Swaney, entered.

------

/Yami, I'm concerned./ Yugi thought-spoke to Yami.

**And I once had a fish named Hama Drias, your point is? **Yami replied.

* * *

Oh, gosh, I don't own the fish comment, that belongs to my fifth grade teacher (Sorry, Mr. Seibert!)

* * *

/Yami, I think Kaiba looks happy!/ 

**OK, now _that_ is a cause for concern.**

/Uh-huh. What do you think?/

**I say we confront him directly and challenge him to a duel.**

/Yami.../

**What?**

/...never mind.../

-----

Jou was at the front of the class, doing demonstrations for the next unit – Frisbee.

Seto couldn't help but let a grin sneak onto his face. The puppy was demonstrating _Frisbee_. He nearly laughed when the mutt almost dropped one and caught it in his teeth.

The rest of PE went well. Seto and Jou practiced with each other, Jou telling stories about when he was littler and how he used to do stuff like this all the time, and other such nonsense. Seto nodded and pretended to listen, but was thinking about how he was going to get Yugi to duel him.

He didn't know Yugi was plotting the same thing.

* * *

Must... stop... 

Ha, this is the longest chapter I think!

Hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

I look forward to reading your reviews! (wink wink)


	5. Chapter Five

Mmm, you guys, I'm likin' it...

Review Responses:

**Sentient Chile**: Nope, nope, no dueling yet. I have three million pointless side-stories to include. And it seems you invent a new word every time you review, Arthur! "Uberniftifidednessocitytudeyfuldefied"??? I'm going to use that in this chapter, if you don't mind!

**i-love-bakura1489**: I like 1337. Seto seems the type to like 1337. Why not use 1337? And I'm glad you like it so much! Here's the next chapter, all specially fun!

**Game and Watch Forever**: Pegasus teaching? It wouldn't be worse. Trust me. That mile is DANG HARD... and I told you the story of the homework from Mrs. Engel, right? Yeah. That was evil. She is the evilest teacher ever. Ever!

**Misura**: O.O You reviewed me! Oh, my gosh, I'm HONORED! You are WONDERFUL! I LOVE YOU! (hugs Misura) Anywayses, the teachers are just... odd... (shrug) I can't explain it. Mrs. Engel must think... Nevar mind, I'd better keep this PG.

Well, now that that's done, I assume Seto's excited for the next chapter.

Seto: (glares)

...guess not. Jou?

Jou: (bouncing up and down) I get ta run da miiile, I get ta run da miiiiile...

Yupadoodles, well, here it is!

* * *

Chapter Five

**Now?**

/Yami, no! We can't duel while we're running!/

**How about now?**

/We're still running./

**(pause)...OK, now?**

/NO! Stop it! I'll tell you when!/

------

Seto's face was red, sweat trickled down his forehead as he ran. He was halfway through the Cross Country Mile (I hate it, too, Seto, I feel j00r pain) and his legs were killing him. But experience told him, he needed the pain. He had to go on. He looked back towards the gym building and saw Jou chatting with the teachers, having already gone through the whole thing twice. Uberniftifidednessocitytudeyfuldefied. He'd only been running five minutes.

* * *

There, "uberniftifidednessocitytudeyfuldefied" replaced "great".

* * *

Seto watched the ground carefully as he ran. Last time, he tripped over something (he still doesn't know what) and scraped his entire shin. Jou couldn't look at the blood.

He turned towards the dirt field and started the trek across it. Dirt stuck to his wet shoes as he hurried to the other side.

-----------

Jou climbed a tree next to the main track and sat there, waiting for Seto to finish. There were some other kids who had finished now, but no one was anywhere near Jou's time. He glanced down at his PE teacher, Mrs. Swaney.

"Hey, Mrs. Swaney!" he called down.

Swaney looked up and was a little surprised at his comfortable position in the tree.

"Hi, Jounouchi, how'd you get up there?" she asked incredulously.

Jou shrugged and climbed back down.

"How've you been, Jou?" Swaney asked.

"I've been fine. How 'bout you?"

"My cat went missing..." Swaney told him sadly.

"Aww, I'm sure he'll turn up sometime," Jou said reassuringly.

* * *

By the way, people, this scene is absolutely pointless. And my PE teacher, Mrs. Swaney, did lose her cat. There is truth in this story!

* * *

Swaney smiled feebly and walked off to talk to other teachers. Jou waved at her as she left.

-------

Seto started on the last lap around the track. He put in a burst of speed and made it to the person timing.

"9:13, Kaiba. You gotta work on that if you wanna beat that Jounouchi kid," aforementioned timer person said.

Seto glared and walked to Mrs. Swaney to give her his time.

---

**NOW?**

/No, Yami, we are STILL RUNNING!/

**(long pause) ....now?**

/YAMI!/

Everyone stopped and stared at Yugi as he proceeded to beat himself up.

----Later...----

Seto walked silently to his next class. Well, almost silently...

"HEY, KAIBA!" a small boy called.

Seto stopped all movement completely. It was Colin Creevy.

* * *

I'll give anyone who can correctly tell who Colin Creevy is a cameo in here. If you can't tell me that, give me the longest review possible. We'll have two cameos – Longest review person and Colin Creevy person. Yeah. Go you!

Oh, and does anyone want me to write an Election Day fic? I'd be happy to if you guys want. I have a few ideas for it.

Ok, review, pweafe!


	6. Chapter Six

O.o I got a very large turnout for the cameos… Wow. You people must really want your name in a story. Well, considering that, every single person that reviewed will get a cameo. But I'm having trouble looking at my reviews and I might not get all of you… Sorries!

**mandapandabug**: o.O You definitely won longest, my friend. And that's a wonderful song! I'll just stick it here so everyone can see the wonderfulness! And I edited it a little, I hope you don't mind. It just had some typos and little things that I fixed. It's essentially the same.

You made Jou catch a Frisbee in his mouth

But that's not what this song is all about

I really like this story

Don't write my name as Cory

Because it's mandapandabug

I'm a big lovable lug

Just like this story's wonderful

And not blundersful

I don't even know if that's right

But a least I'm trying with all my might

To this is the coolest thing

Even more then my bling-bling

Now that's the end of this song

I know it wasn't very long

Like those stupid daters

So I'll review you later

Thanks, mandapandabug! You rock!

**Jeshika**: Um… unfortunately, only the Creevy magic was accomplished. But you still gave it your all, so you still get a cameo. Happy!

**Kariachi: **Uh… glad you like it? Thanks for reviewing, and even the most unspecific description of Creevy will do!

**Saeadame**: Well… Yeah, yer right about Creevy. And sugar does more than weird things. It wickies your bodily functions. I made up "wickies" randomly… the result of sugar. Joy!

**Game and Watch Forever**: Duelness will be… sometime. When I feel like it. And Colin will take pictures of it. Yayness.

**Olidammara**: Calling you by your penname just doesn't feel right.

**_Arthur_**: (that's better) Well, believe it or not, you still didn't win longest review… And Vader with any instrument would be frightening beyond imagination. Peanuts _do_ taste funny… probably from the fact that Charlie Brown has no hair. O.o

**Undy**: I've been waiting for you to review. Thank God your parents work. They give you time to come and review my story! Yays! And thanks for the glomps!

**i-love-bakura1489**: Awesome description for Creevy, but the longest review part didn't work. You still get a cameo! And I'll have you appear with Bakura, just because your name told me to.

**Kumori Sakusha formerly Saelbu**: Skills. I'm being random, but saying "skills" is fun. Sorry. Anyways, glad you like it! The next chapter should be up to the standard of the others. I hope. Heh.

**Misura**: You're NEVER too late for the cameos! You should have tried! But you still get one just because you reviewed. Joy! And Yugi and Yami will have more dialogue in here. Mini convos between them are fun to write.

**anony**: Maddie. Your reviews are insane. I would like very much to know your penname now, if you don't mind, considering that last time I talked to you you had not received the confirmation email, I suppose I should relax, ne? OK.

**SonnyGoten**: Sure thing! Seto WILL win. We all know it. No one can win with the cards Jou's stuck in Yami's deck… Hehehe…

**Natasha**: Your reviews are insaner than Maddie's! Geez, Titchy, calm down!

OK, now is the magical time called…Chapter start!

**_(imagine there's a line here)_**

Chapter Six

Seto turned slowly toward the tiny person carrying a camera too big for his face.

"Can I take a picture of you? Oh, gosh, you're so cool!" Creevy began to ramble as he lifted the camera and several flashes echoed around the hall.

"Creevy.. I'm going to be late…" Seto attempted to make him go away, but to no avail.

Next came the one moment Seto would EVER be glad that Yugi had arrived in.

The moment lasted about .65 seconds, but it was enough. Yugi was bandaged up, and he looked like he had a few bruises forming on his face, but most of all…

He looked ready to duel.

Finally.

-----

**Yugi, do we get to duel now?**

/Yes, Yami, we get to duel. Don't hyperventilate./

**Oh, thankyouthankyouthankyou Yugi!**

/Calm down, Yami, you take over and we can duel./

**Eeeee, you're the best, Yugi!**

/Yami. Calm./

**Right. (deep breaths) Caaaaaallllmmmm…**

-----

Yugi marched down the hall towards Seto and Creevy, growing another few feet as he walked. His eyes sharpened, his hair stood up further, and his outfit became a little tighter. That's what one gets for sharing a body with a midget.

"Kaiba, I challenge you to a duel!"

Seto would have done a victory dance if he had been anyone other than Seto Kaiba. But he must keep up appearances, so he remained calm.

The two rivals faced each other and pulled Duel Discs out from their backpacks (of course). Creevy looked positively overjoyed at the opportunity to take pictures of Seto at his best, but he didn't remember the cameos!

Suddenly, **mandapandabug** swung in from a vine growing out of the ceiling and kicked Colin over! She stole his camera and waited anxiously for the duel to begin.

Seto quirked an eyebrow, but the duel must go on!

Seto looked at the cards in his hand. Among them were a Blue-Eyes and a Man-Eater Bug. Joy. This duel would be fun.

-----

**Yugi…**

/Yami, we're already dueling. What could you want now???/

**I think you should look at this…**

Yugi stared in disbelief at the cards in his hand:

Bob the Wonder Cow, ATK50, DEF0

President Bush, ATK lies, DEF more lies

Had to stick that in there, folks, I hate him. I'm trying to convince my dad to move to Canada to escape him. No luck so far. America's doomed.

Mrs. Woods, ATK scariness, DEF friggin' weird hairdo

**_(IMAGINE A LINE)  
_**O.o ummmmmm…. She's my principal.  
**_(IMAGINE A LINE)_**

Lunch Table of Doom (trap) – All your opponent's monsters are given lunch, which causes nothing.

Poisoned Chinchilla Patties on Rye (magic) – Inflicts 1000 points of damage on your own Life Points.

/Yami…/

**Yeah, Yugi?**

/Who is Mrs. Woods?/

**(sweatdrop)**

/And who is Bush?/

**(anime fall)**

----

Seto watched Yugi and Yami's conversation, bored.

That's when Creevy decided he wanted to take pictures of everything. He got his camera back and clicked that certain button…

_**FLASH!**_

Everyone was temporarily blinded.

**Yuuuugggggiiiiiiii…**

/What NOW?/

**Your eyes hurt.**

/O.o uuuuh, righto./

**Owwwieeeee… Pain.**

/Sure, Yami. Just duel./

**How am I supposed to duel with these terrible cards???**

/Yami, as I recall, you are the King of Games. Doesn't that mean you can cheat and get away with it?/

**You know, Yugi, I don't believe I've ever told you how wonderful you are.**

/Shut up and duel./

----

Seto blinked several times, trying to make the spots go away… annoying colored spots.

That's when all hell broke loose.

Our favorite puppy ran up from behind Yugi, singing at the top of his lungs (and remarkably well):

"HARK HOW THE BELLS

SWEET SILVER BELLS

ALL SEEM TO SAY

THROW CARES AWAY

CHRISTMAS IS HERE

BRINGING GOOD CHEER

TO YOUNG AND OLD

MEEK AND THE BOLD

_FROM EVERY VILLAGE TOWN_

_CAN YOU HEAR THE SOUND_

_CAN YOU SEE THE LIGHT THROUGH THE DARK?_

_MERRY MERRY MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS_

_MERRY MERRY MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS"_

Seto watched as Jou circled around the empty dueling field and swaggered up to him, holding out a bowl of Live Wire.

**_(IMAGINE THE STUPID LINE, PEOPLE)_**  
…Live Wire is.. very sugary, according to my buddy Arthur. I don't know much about it, except that it's extremely sugary and probably has lots of caffeine, too… And it's soda.

Just looked up "Live Wire" "soda" on Google and found that it's Mountain Dew Live Wire. Awesome.  
**_(FWOOSHY LINE)_**

"Jou…" Seto started.

"Ya-don'-need-ta-say-anytin' Settyyyyyyyy…" Jou chirped quickly.

"Who gave you sugar, Jou?"

Jou pointed in two different directions.

"Jou, I'm serious. I don't want you-" He was cut off as Jou let out a battle cry and…

**Yugi, come out and see this!**

/What, Yami, more bad cards?/

**No, Jou dumped Live Wire on Seto's head!**

/Good for- Wait, I gotta see this!/

Yugi shrank down a few feet and his eyes got all big again. He giggled insanely at the sight of Seto covered in the sugary wetness.

Jou glomped Seto, cackling madly, and began licking the soda out of his hair.

"Jou.." Seto attempted to push Jou off. "Jounouchi!" Jou looked up at Seto, eyes wide with sugar-highness, face wet with the Live Wire.

**Yugi! I wanna see now!**

/Calm down, Yami, I'm watching!/

**Awww, you fun-ruiner.**

/Meh. I'm trying to have fun, too./

**Meanie.**

SUDDENLY-

**Undy (That Undomiel Chick)** stumbled over in a drunken stupor, decked out completely in pirate gear, carrying two empty bottles that formerly held rum, swinging her gun around madly, singing wildly:

"HEY HO TO THE FLAGON I GO

TO HEAL MY HEART AND DROWN MY WOE

RAIN MAY FALL AND WIND MAY BLOW

BUT THERE STILL BEEEEEE

MANY MILES TO GO

SWEET IS THE SOUND OF THE POURING RAIN

AND THE STREAM THAT FALLS FROM HILL TO PLAIN

BETTER THAN RAIN OR RIPPLING BROOK

IS A MUG OF BEER INSIDE THIS TOOK!"

As she sang, she shot Creevy several times and stole his camera. As she bent over to pick it up, a familiar-looking bottle slipped from under her hat…

"So it was you!" Seto accused, pointing at the Live Wire bottle now rolling on the floor.

**Undy** ran away quickly, but not before shooting Creevy a couple more times.

Seto sighed and looked over at Jou, who was now attempting terribly to break-dance.

**Yugi… O.o**

/Not now Yami…/

**Yugi, aren't we supposed to be dueling?**

/Oh, right!/

"Kaiba, now would be a great time to duel!" Yugi shouted over.

Seto glanced sharply at him and turned back towards the field.

**Yugi, how are we supposed to duel with those stupid cards?**

/I don't know. You take over and cheat or something./

**OK, that's what I do best!**

Yugi grew a few feet again and got into a weird battle pose.

Seto drew a card: another Blue-Eyes. He was lucky today.

He played the Man-Eater Bug facedown, just in case, and Winged Dragon Guardian of the Fortress (ATK1400, DEF1200) in attack mode. Then he lay a trap card face down.

And Yami started monologue-ing.. oh, dear.

(INSERT STUPID CORNY MONOLOGUE ABOUT WINNING AND BEING BETTER THAN SETO HERE)

/Yami.. I think you went overboard…/

**Relax, Yugi, he gets monologue time a lot, it's my turn!**

/When's the last time he went monologue-hyper like you just did?/

…**hyper? You describe my monologue time as "hyper"????? It is SO not hyper! I know hyper, and that monologue was NOT hyper! I KNOW hyper! You should know that wasn't hyper! I-**

/Yami. Shut up and duel. Must I say it again?/

**No… fine…**

Yami drew a card. Finally, something normal – Ancient Elf, ATK1450, DEF1200. Go spellcasters! He smirked evilly as he set it down and ordered it to attack Winged Dragon Guardian of the Fortress.

Seto smirked twice as evilly as he activated his trap – Shadow Spell. Ancient Elf was trapped and his attack power was reduced by 700 (I'm not certain if that's right, but my brother got his cards taken away so we can't check).

(Insert more duelly stuff here)

Yami looked on in horror as everything he sent out was slaughtered, all the cards he played defeated, all his desperate strategies foiled.

**Yugi… I think for once I have lost.**

/Wait, Yami, that was that other time-/

**Yugi. I don't want to talk about it.**

/Well, the cards WERE creative…/

**Well... Yes… What was your favorite?**

/The Chibi Dark Magician./

**Its attack power was in the negatives.**

/Yeah, but it was really cute!/

**Yugi…**

/What? You had your crazy time! It's my turn!/

**Let me go down in a blaze of glory first.**

/Glory? The card you just set down is going to finish off your Life Points./

**Well… Yes, but he has to attack it first.**

/So… wait… he's going to attack that monster… and it's Flip Effect is going to do more damage than the actual attack will!/

**That's the general idea, yes.**

/What will I do with you?/

**Let me glare at him!**

/…sure…/

Yami stared at Seto, venom dripping from his gaze like melted butter through a hole in a slice of toast.

"Your turn over yet, tall midget?" Seto called, running out of insults from the many he's used during this unwritten duel. (And it shall remain unwritten until I start writing a collection of oneshots explaining bits of my stories that were mentioned that never went into detail... like Mr. Googleygoggle from InuDoodle.)

"Yeah, I end my turn," Yami muttered. Seto drew his card.

"Alright, midget, prepare to be destroyed," Seto said, bored. He directed the Blue-Eyes he had on the field to attack Yami's face down monster. It flipped over.

"Confused Badger? What is that?" Seto asked, staring at the small creature that emerged from the card.

"My defeat!" Yami shouted. "Kaiba, you have not defeated me, I have defeated myself!"

The badger turned and roared an enormous breath of fire that depleted the rest of Yami's Life Points.

Seto blinked. A huge burst of laughter erupted from behind him.

"Seto, are you gonna put up with that? He still insists he won, just because his own stupid card beat him!" Jou managed to say through exploding fits of laughter.

"…well…" Seto considered his options for a moment, then threw his Duel Disc aside and tackled Yami. "CHEATER!"

The continued cries of "CHEATER" and "YUGI SAVE MEEEE" echoed through the hall, accompanied by the laughter from Jounouchi. Teachers in nearby classrooms that somehow didn't hear any noise before (hmm, I like their doors) stuck their heads out of the doors.

"Kaiba! Motou! You two calm down and get over here!" one brave soul shouted.

Seto glanced up at the teacher, normally icy eyes now ablaze with blue flame. Yami also looked up, a pleading look in his dull amethyst eyes. Jounouchi stopped rolling on the ground to watch the quickly blooming shouting match, his chocolate eyes wide with excitement.

**_(iiiiimaginary liiiiine)_**  
Took an opportunity to describe their eyes… sorry…  
**_(hmm. Lines are imaginary)_**

Seto stood up slowly from his intended murder victim and turned to the teacher, looking down at him since he was a good five inches taller.

"If, sir, you would be so kind, I would appreciate it if you would allow me to finish in peace? I promise I'll be quieter," Seto asked, voice dripping with false sweetness.

The teacher considered for a moment and then nodded. "Sure, Kaiba. Just keep it down," he answered. Then he returned to his own classroom and the other teachers returned to theirs.

Jou pouted. "Setooooooo, you were supposed to shoooouuuuttt at hiiiiiiiim…" he complained, rolling around on the ground and stretching sleepily.

Seto pondered. "No, pup, I think I've done enough shouting." He turned to Yami, the shivering mass of flesh (well, Yugi's flesh…) cowering beneath him. "You're free to go," he said, prodding him with his foot.

Yami looked up in shock, but quickly got up and ran when Seto started to threaten him with- OK, moving on.

Jou ran over and glomped Seto for the second time, and an explosion of giggles followed as Seto pinned him down and proceeded to tickle him. Let's be glad there's no one else around at the moment. (I cheer for the empty hallway! YAY! No one's there, so it's TICKLE TIME!!!)

"Settyyyyyy- AAAAAH!" Jou giggled insanely at the long fingers tickling him all over.

Seto stopped when he heard footsteps. He get up, grinned at the still-giggling-and-twitching Jou, and walked towards the source of the footsteps.

"Why, hello, _birthday boy_," a heavily accented voice called from down the hall. It was the sexually ambiguous figure from before.. only now, he was clearly a guy. Obviously, he had switched to his yami.

"Bakura," Seto acknowledged, nodding. He raised an eyebrow at a girl clinging to Bakura's jacket like her life depended on it - **i-love-bakura1489**. Bakura threw his hands up.

"I can't explain it. She's been following me around since this story started!"

Seto's eyebrow remained in its higher altitude.

"Well, she has. She's reviewed every chapter!"

"I don't even know what you're talking about, tomb robber. Leave me alone."

"Oh, sure, play dumb."

Seto's eyes flashed. "What did you say?" Without waiting for an answer, he pounced.

----Later…----

"Seto, one of these days yer gonna wind up in jail, I swear," Jou said as they walked to lunch.

"It's not my fault. People keep baiting me," Seto replied, crossing his arms.

"Sure, Seto. Sure."

"What? They do!"

Jou grinned and pulled Seto out to the field in the back of the school.

"I know you love to eat out here, Seto. I made you a special birthday lunch." He shoved a blue lunchbag into Seto's arms. "Come on, let's sit under that tree over there."

The puppy ran over to a gorgeous tree near the edge of the school grounds and sat, leaning against it. Seto joined him.

That's when a small fanclub arrived to wish Seto a happy birthday. Among the group were **Jeshika, Kariachi, Saeadame, **and **SonnyGoten**. (whoo, four cameos in one!) Everyone showered Seto with gifts of stuff he already has. As the great Arthur once said (well, more than once) "What do you get someone who already has/can get everything?"

When the fanclub left, Seto and Jou were left alone again. But not for long. This is when Maddy (**anony**) showed up.

"Oh, hey, Kaiba!" she called, running over to them.

"Oh, crap…" muttered Jou as she approached.

"Hey, I just wanted to let you know I think you guys should be Democrats in 'Election Day'! Just wanted to tell you that, see you later!" She ran off.

"Wow. We got off easy," Seto said to Jou. "I'm glad she didn't give me anything." He looked at his pile of gifts. Barnes and Noble gift cards, a couple new trench coats.. ew, red was SO not his color…

**_(iiiiimaaaaaginary!)_**  
OK, tell me this right now – Do you think Seto would look good in red?

(listens to loud "NO"s)

Good. I think he'd look awful. It doesn't suit him at all.  
**_(la dee daaa imagine it!)_**

"We can use that for something else. It's perfectly good fabric," Jou said, picking up the red trench coat.

"Are you suggesting we sew something???" Seto asked incredulously,

"Not us personally. Can't we hire someone to make something cool out of it? Oooh, maybe a punching bag!" He dropped the trench and punched it in midair.

Seto shrugged and opened the sack Jou had forced upon him earlier. Inside was a still-warm Blue-Eyes Ultimate Pancake, a Blue-Eyes-shaped thermos of milk, and various other food items adhering to the Blue-Eyes theme.

"Ah, Jou. Thank you." He leaned over and gave Jou an affectionate kiss on the nose. A rare (and fluffy) moment indeed.

"Wait, Seto, there's more… another cheesy little gift for you." Jou reached into his backpack and pulled out… a stuffed Siamese cat? Attached to its ear was a tag in a heart shape that said "ty" on the front. Inside the tag was a name that had been scribbled out and rewritten as "Seto" (messily) and a poem. The poem read:

"_He has a rather regal air_

_Other cats cannot compare_

_Standing straight and full of pride_

_You can't resist his deep blue eyes!_"

**_(imagination is key)_**  
This is a real Beanie Baby cat named Siam. It was actually a 'her' but for the purposes of the story she shall be a guy.  
**_(dooooobeedo imagine!)_**

"I've been wonderin what I could compare you to besides yer Blue-Eyes. I found it – a Siamese cat," Jou said, smiling.

Seto stared at the soft toy in his hands. It stood proudly, much as he imagined he would if he was a cat. The eyes – these didn't quite capture real Siamese blue eyes (or his own, for that matter), but they were close enough. He loved it.

"So… whaddya think?" Jou asked hopefully.

"Jou…" He leaned over and gave Jou a real kiss.

**_(WTF? Why do you need me to tell you anymore???)_**  
This is boring fluff.. how to make it more interesting..? OOH, CAMEO TIME!  
**__**

"Not that I'm totally against it or anything, but that's just not right," came a voice from… within earshot.

Seto and Jou parted and looked over at the source of the voice – **Game and Watch Forever**.

"You know, you don't have to stand there and watch," Jou commented.

**Game and Watch Forever** pondered for a moment. "Y'know, you're right. See you later!" He left without a fuss.

"That was weird," Jou said unnecessarily.

"Why do people keep showing up?"

"They're cameos, of course!" same another voice. It was **Kumori Sakusha.**

"Cameos? What's that supposed to mean?" Jou asked.

"Oh… never mind." **Kumori** ran off.

"You don't need to say it," Seto said as Jou opened his mouth to speak. "You were going to say that was weird, weren't you?"

Jou nodded, grinning.

Seto sighed.

----Later…----

"Come on, we'll be late for class!" Jou urged.

"Calm down, Jou. No one can give us a detention," Seto said.

Jou pulled Seto along at a run anyway and they made it to class before the bell rang.

There was the eardrum-shattering sound of fingernails drawn across a blackboard. The substitute teacher turned around, grinning, and was revealed to be… Arthur (**Olidammara**)!

"Hello, class," he said, grinning evilly. Then his expression turned to confusion. "What class is this, anyway?"

Many students laughed as he looked around the room in a frantic search for some hint of what class it was. When he found none, he simply started rambling about nothing in particular and the class found themselves starting to enjoy _Star Trek_. Those who already did, of course, got up and joined Arthur in praising Spock for a while.

----

**Yugi…**

/What is it, Yami?/

**You're in pain.**

/Well, I'm glad I'm not in control, then./

**It still hurts.**

/I know./

**Hey, Yugi?**

/What?/

**I want to duel someone.**

/If you weren't in pain, I would hurt you./

**(whimper) Don't hurt meeeeee!!!!**

----

Seto and Jou left Arthur's class considerably cheery. They were about to enter their next class, astronomy-

(A/N: ASTRONOMY? WTF? Who wrote this????? Oh… I did… Sorry for the interruption.)

-when another strange person ran up to Seto and hugged him.

"**Misura!** Get back here!" another person yelled. This one was short and looked like she belonged in an elementary school, rather than a high school.

"But **Natasha**… I just got here!" **Misura** whined.

**Natasha** tapped her foot impatiently and **Misura** reluctantly returned to the classroom she had been entering before she hugged Seto.

Guess what! I just did the last two cameos!!!!!

Seto and Jou looked at each other and shrugged, then entered their own room.

**_("It's so BLUE and LINEY!")_**

This is the longest chapter ever. Phew. Finally over!

And this isn't the end of the story. He technically still hasn't beaten Yugi.

And no more cameo competitions, geez, this one went crazy.

Alright, well, read and review! Joy!


End file.
